Wireless Piggyback

WARNING!: Silicone based readers may find this account of how I achieved my wireless dream needlessly and hideously erotic.


I moistened my fingers and caressed my keyboard lightly. The keys clacked slackly against my digits. I gently inserted the usb router into the glistening socket and wiggled it until the computer achieved a satisfied connection.

My hard drive became active as a I stroked the shiny mouse back and forth. I tried to enter the domain but I was blocked by a spy-worm penetrating my firewall. I sheathed my computer with virus protection and entered my wep key into the waiting box.
Still, it wouldn't provide me with my i.p.
"What's my domain, bitch!" I cried as I hammered the keys rhythmically.
Eventually the computer seemed satisfied with my efforts and I slumped back in my chair, sweating, panting and feeling strangely hollow inside.